Posts for Category General Silliness

The cure for Bieber Fever

If you want an image of someone's head burned into your eyes, use Bill's Head, not Bieber's. Bonus: a picture of me totally making out with Justin Bieber!
Feb 252011
 

Perhaps while Bill’s Head has been quiet and you have been bored, you have seen some variation of the optical illusion involving Justin Bieber’s goofy head (see here, or other versions here). It’s an old trick: you stare at a silhouette of his head for 30 seconds, then look at a blank wall or sheet of paper and blink rapidly, and he magically appears. If you are an 8-year-old girl I guess you swoon and/or scream. If you are not, you shrug and think about science.

If you want to try the trick without having to have the image of Justin Bieber seared on your retinas, here’s a version of Bill’s Head that you can use. Go ahead: try it.

Billhouette

Are you swooning yet?

By the way, I don’t like to brag but I totally met Justin the other night. Here are some pictures of that encounter:

Bieber1 Bieber2

A Day in the Life: Lunch and Costco

I set out for Costco today to buy a three-pound bag of almonds. I didn't have any urgent need for almonds, or any need at all, really, but it was a good excuse to go to Five Guys for lunch.
Oct 252010
 

[Editor’s note: This will be mildly amusing to a few of you. The rest of you should just come back another time.]

I set out for Costco today to buy a three-pound bag of almonds. I didn’t have any urgent need for almonds, or any need at all, really: I had told a friend I would get her some the next time I was there.

I did, however, have a need to go to Five Guys for lunch. Not enough need, apparently, because I was having trouble talking myself into it. I wanted to go but I also didn’t want to go. It was that kind of day. I sure didn’t want to be at the office, working. Then I remembered the almonds. Almonds at Costco. Costco is in the same shopping center as Five Guys. “Since I need to go to Costco anyway,” I thought, ignoring the fact that I didn’t really need to go to Costco, “I might as well go to Five Guys for lunch first.”

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Nov 242008
 

Bestoffairfax We were quite excited at work today when we got an e-mail from the “U.S. Local Business Administration” informing us that the company “has been selected for the 2008 Best of Fairfax Award in the Local Business category by the U.S. Local Business Association (USLBA).”

Yippee! Finally someone has recognized the extent to which we “enhance the positive image of small business through service to [our] customers and community”!

The message gave us a link to a press release announcing our selection, and to a page where we could order an official plaque (starting price: $80) to hang in the lobby to impress our customers.

Alas, it’s all just a scam, as a cursory Web search or perusal of the organization’s Web site reveals. What does the U.S. Local Business Administration do, exactly? Mostly they give “awards” to every business they can get an e-mail address for, to scam people into buying their stupid plaques. Their “information-packed web site” has a few single-paragraph business tips lifted verbatim from the site of the U.S. Small Business Administration (a legitimate organization that does not sell plaques).

We weren’t fooled, of course, and wondered how anyone else could be. But if you do a search for “U.S. Local Business Administration” you will find, tucked in amongst numerous scam reports, many (more than we would have thought possible, actually) Web sites proudly listing the award. And actual press releases, released by actual companies and posted on actual PR news services, complete with quotes from actual CEOs, proudly announcing the receipt of the award.

For example, this one from Triton Pacific Capital Partners. Investment tip: don’t give any money to the folks at Triton Pacific Capital Partners. No telling what sort of make-believe things they will “invest” it in.

We now wonder how many of these companies actually shelled out money for the plaques, and we wonder whether we aren’t in the wrong line of work entirely. We’ve always said that making money by exploiting the stupid is much easier than writing software.

Jul 042006
 

SussyJust in time for independence day an online dating site delivered to me the following heartwarming, and, frankly, inspiring personal note from a modeller named Sussy George who was kind enough to say that I meet her criteria for what she is looking for in a man: “fora good and nice man whohas the mind of God fora date.” Sussy writes:

Goodday, in the course of human events, when opportunity presents itself that one meets someone whose qualities fits in with ones desired “dream mates”, the demand of history has it that one must fully utilize such opportunity because it may never re-occur again Such now is the coincidence that occurred while I was reading thru profiles on this site. it is a fortune for me that I came across ur profile. Reading thru it I found it interesting and suiting for my kind of person, it is once said; “The most beautiful things on earth cannot be seen, it can only be felt from the heart. He that looks into the heart sees clearer” I have developed a feeling and need to know you better and establish a closer relationship with you soonest if you desire. “The meeting of two personality is like the contact of two chemical substances ; if there is a reaction ,both lives are transformed” and testimonies are shared

This is sussy George, born by a nigeria father and an american mother.a modeller, network analyst, currently in nigeria taking care of my fathers property .born and raise in boring 8miles from hampstead in Maryland , USA.I am also single and i live alone,i hope u never mind the Simplicity ,appraisal, long introduction, it is a way of expressing my feelings toward your profile. Even the only book (1Corinthians 13:4–13) talk about it….Now however, there remain Faith, Hope and Love These three, but the Greatest of these is Love”. i might the love of you life you are looking for. Never mind the distance,race,culture and background. If you won’t mind reply me back through Sussy_lauren@yahoo.com to show your interest and we shall both takeit from there

i care

sussy

[sic, generally]

I am so touched by the fact that she cares that I am almost willing to overlook certain shortcomings (like the facts that she is incoherent, Christian, living in Nigeria, and the totally fictitious creation of people trying to get me to send money to them), obey the demand of history, and utilize my opportunity in case it never re-occurs again.

If you are bored sometime, dear reader, spend a few moments crafting a suitable reply to Sussy. Post it here or contact her yourself (Sussy_lauren@yahoo.com). This could be the start of something special.