picture of bill's head in a jarWhat's In Bill's Head?

Bill

My new favorite Christmas song

 Posted by Bill on November 29, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Nov 292011
 

Last week’s Studio 360 included performances from Tim Minchin, who I don’t think I had ever heard of before. He finished up with “White Wine in the Sun,” in which he explains why he likes Christmas despite “the usual objections to consumerism / The commercialisation of an ancient religion / To the westernisation of a dead Palestinian / Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer.”

The other songs he performed (“Prejudice” and “F**k the Poor) were great, too. Check them out here. Then listen to the rest of the show–you’ll probably like it.

 

 

Why “Miller Lite’s” but not “L…

 Posted by Bill on November 20, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Nov 202011
 

Why “Miller Lite’s” but not “Leinenkugel’s” or “spicy packer’s”? http://t.co/X94vkeYY

Update on Bill’s Wrist

 Posted by Bill on November 19, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Nov 192011
 

Since I can’t respond individually to the hundreds of people who have written in to Bill’s Head Headquarters to ask how Bill’s Wrist is doing, I figured I would post an update here.

My injury was a fracture of the triquetrum bone*, which is the most- or second-most-common kind of wrist fracture, depending on whose statistics you believe. Usually, a little piece chips off. They put you in a cast, and everything works out fine. However, because I’m special, that’s not what happened to me. I broke off a big piece, and there was a large gap between it and where it was supposed to be. I went to two separate orthopedists who between them had been working on hands for over 25 years, and neither of them had ever seen an injury like this before. The doctor who ended up fixing it for me was quite excited–he took pictures of my x-ray and CT scan with his iPhone, I guess so that he could pull it out and show me off at orthopedist cocktail parties.

Both doctors recommended surgery to fix the bone fragment back in place, so I had that done last week. The surgery went fine, and my parents, who had come to be supportive, were able to leave the surgery center in time to make it to the opera that evening.

After a week wearing a half cast/splint that they put on me in the operating room (clearly designed or applied by someone who has never had to wear one, given how miserably uncomfortable it was), I got my real cast yesterday:

Bill's arm in a cast

If you look closely, you can see the pin holding things together.

I also got a waterproof cast cover, which is a little more secure than the newspaper bags I’ve been using to cover my arm for showering. I can probably reuse the thing for next year’s Halloween costume, too, since it makes me look like a low-rent monster from Dr. Who.

Bill's hand in a cast protector

This is the first time I’ve ever had a cast, so I missed out on that whole cast signing thing in childhood. A black cast is a little tough to sign, and I don’t see most of you in person, but if you’d like to sign the cast you can scrawl out your message, then photograph or scan it and send it to me (or just use the comments below). I’ll print out your messages on stickers and put them on the cast, if I haven’t lost interest in this project by then. Also, I’m willing to sell advertising space or naming rights; get in touch if you’re interested. But hurry, because I only have to wear the thing for three weeks (half as long as I was expecting).

Thanks to all of you who have wished me well and/or told me how lucky I was not to have broken both wrists like your friend/brother/coworker/acquaintance/spouse/distant relative did.

Notes

*
This used to be called the cuneiform bone, which we encountered recently in our discussion of coins. Why did they change the name? I don’t know. ↵
 
Nov 162011
 

I don’t think I had ever heard of Andreas Gursky until I read yesterday that one of his photographs just sold for $4.3 million, making it the most expensive photograph ever sold. Christie’s auction house describes the photograph, Rhein II, as “a dramatic and profound reflection on human existence and our relationship to nature on the cusp of the 21st century.” OK. Whatever. Here’s the photograph:

Andreas Gursky's Rhein II

Andreas Gursky/Christie’s Images, Ltd., 2011

The Guardian reports that

The desolate featureless landscape shown in Rhine II is no accident: Gursky explained in an interview* that it is his favourite picture: “It says a lot using the most minimal means … for me it is an allegorical picture about the meaning of life and how things are.”

In fact the artist carefully digitally removed any intrusive features – dog walkers, cyclists, a factory building – until it was bleak enough to satisfy him.

That’s right: it’s not really even a photograph–it’s a Photoshop composition.

Well, I suppose the buyer will enjoy bragging about owning it.

cactusBut maybe your taste is different from mine, and you think that this “photograph” is interesting. Maybe you even hoped to purchase it, but got outbid. Well, here’s some good news. Shortly after I saw Rhein II, I happened to walk past a cactus that I have in my house, and noticed a similarity.

So I cropped a picture of it…

cactus detail …and then spent 10 minutes in Photoshop until I was satisfied that it was conveying my intended message about the meaning of life and how things are:

Bill's Cactus II photograph, which is almost as good as Gursky's Rhein II

It’s not my best Photoshop work, since I’m working without benefit of my dominant hand and also didn’t want to waste a lot of time on this, so I’m offering it for sale at the bargain price of $4,338.50, which is 0.1% of what Gursky’s photograph sold for. I’d say Cactus II is at least one tenth of one percent as interesting to look at as Rhein II is, so it seems like a fair price. Now, for this unbelievably low price, you’re getting an unframed print that’s about 30 inches long. I realize that part of the appeal of Gursky’s work is the large size of the prints. Therefore, I am also offering my photograph glass mounted at 80″ x 140″ (about the same size as Rhein II) for the still very reasonable price of $43,385.

Or, if you think that both Gursky’s photograph of the Rhein and mine of my cactus are actually quite dull, by all means take a look through my gallery and see if there’s something else you’d like instead.

Notes

*
I tried to watch the documentary that contains this interview, but got bored before Gursky made his appearance. I’m still not sure that Ben Lewis, with his breathless enthusiasm for Gursky, isn’t having us on. ↵
For the record, I think some of Gursky’s other work is interesting. ↵
 

Link: The Social Graph is Neither

 Posted by Bill on November 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm  Technology
Nov 132011
 

An interesting essay about the fundamental flaws with the idea of a “social graph,” which is the basis for sites like Facebook. “The social graph wants to turn us back into third graders, laboriously spelling out just who is our fifth-best-friend. But there’s a reason we stopped doing that kind of thing in third grade!”

@tjoselow Then you’d be unpaid…

 Posted by Bill on November 11, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Nov 112011
 

@tjoselow Then you’d be unpaid content provider helping FB & Google get richer and lose the part of your audience who aren’t “friends”

Still alive!

 Posted by Bill on November 11, 2011 at 8:42 am
Nov 112011
 

Still alive!

If you are seeing this message…

 Posted by Bill on November 6, 2011 at 3:05 am
Nov 062011
 

If you are seeing this message, that means you forgot to set your clock back last night.

Link: Up in ur internets, shortening all the words

 Posted by Bill on November 4, 2011 at 4:03 pm  Humor, Language
Nov 042011
 

A humorously serious look at Ralph Fiennes’s claim that Twitter is eroding our language. It’s the sort of post that makes me want to be a linguist.

Was thinking it would be nice …

 Posted by Bill on November 4, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Nov 042011
 

Was thinking it would be nice if I could use voice recognition on smartphone for texting; remembered there’s already similar app: telephone.